When people think about dementia care, they often picture memory loss, confusion, and maybe a few doctor’s visits. What they don’t see, and what no brochure can truly explain, is the everyday reality behind those words. The emotional weight, the small victories, the heartbreak, the humor, the patience, and the strength it takes to walk alongside someone whose world is slowly shifting.

As someone who’s worked in dementia care for years, from live-in support to my current role as Deputy Registered Manager at GoodOaks HomeCare in Horsham - Crawley, I’ve seen it all. And I want to share what it really looks like, from the front lines.

Yes, memory loss is a part of dementia. But it’s more than forgetting names or misplacing keys. It’s not knowing where you are in your own home. It’s becoming anxious because something feels wrong but you can’t explain it. It’s lashing out, withdrawing, repeating, questioning, wandering, not out of stubbornness, but out of fear or confusion.

I’ve seen the frustration in families who don’t understand why their loved one is suddenly aggressive or silent. I’ve seen the heartbreak in partners who feel like they’ve lost the person they’ve loved for decades, even though they’re still there physically. These are the emotional layers that often go unspoken.

Dementia care teaches you to slow down, to observe body language, to feel what a person might not be able to say. It teaches you to celebrate the little moments, a smile, a flash of recognition, a calm morning. It teaches you patience, but also creativity.

Sometimes it’s music that unlocks something. Sometimes it’s an old scent, a routine, or a reassuring tone of voice. And sometimes, it’s just sitting beside someone and letting them feel safe, even if they can’t tell you why they were scared to begin with.